A somewhat controversial way to reach your goals and true happiness in life. Stop trying so hard. Stop over exhausting yourself. Stop forcing yourself. Stop beating yourself up.
In my podcast episode "Stop Trying" I am hoping to encourage you from my own experiences. I was always the one to push myself harder and harder. On to the next job, the next advancement, the next goal. I would find myself getting frustrated with "issues" or events happening while trying to get to goals in my life. Events also know as "Life."
We get stuck on the hamster wheel. Always chasing happiness. Always chasing goals. We have a artificial perception that if we just keep going, keep trying harder we will find happiness.
But once we reach a goal we have found bliss for a moment in life. For a moment in time we celebrate our self. We congratulate finally for the "hard work" or strenuous journey we took that got us to that moment.
But what about all that time in between? Our life didn't matter during that time because we were trying to reach a goal. Our focus wasn't on our happiness during that duration but more in the experience of the end. You fantasized about a place of joy. Finally reaching a spot where you could tell yourself I did it!
My goal with "Stop Trying" isn't to stop you from having goals.Have lots and lots of goals!!! My purpose is to help you stop living through destruction to get to that goal. To start seeing the joy in the present moment. Like I say in the show, you can have fifty victories in your life, great! But what if you could have a million more? What if we spent the time between reaching our goals focusing on finding joy in the current place we are in? Not to stop us from reaching our goal, but to stop us from being so harsh on our self during the transition. To stop us from feeling in a negative place. To decide happiness in not only in the reward but also in the present moment.
I was the one who was never focusing on my current situation. I found myself bitter about my situations. Feeling depressed when I couldn't accomplish a goal. Feeling exhausted when I was working so hard on something and it didn't work out as I wished.
I was like this until I was starting to only feel animosity in my life. Always feeling " why not me?" Constantly comparing my life and my success. Always wishing I had more. Finding myself overly frustrated when an obstacle arose. Feeling the smallest things would set me back.
I am a doer. So how could I ask myself to stop "doing" and my life would change?
I realized that my end goals could still be accomplished without the punishment on my self. I realized my every day was becoming a competition and I was tired of playing.
I ask you to forgive yourself. You are strong, you are brave and all you want to do is better yourself. But bringing yourself down and through a storm to get to happiness will get you there no faster.
I invite you to start right now and stop trying. Tell yourself its okay to relax. To understand happiness is not a detestation. Yes there is things that can help you be more comfortable in life but don't waste another minute feeling sorry for yourself. Don't you dare tell yourself your self care can wait any further. Stop trying to hard to reach that goal. That goal will come and you don't have to torture your mind and body through it. Experience your life day by day. Be present in the bad and the ugly. Handle them with gratitude. Breath in your gratitude. List off your gratitude verbally if you need to. Thank yourself, be kind to yourself. Appreciate that you refuse to give up but you will no longer torture yourself for success. Tell yourself it's time to find the happiness in your day to day and not only in the end. You dont want to miss another minute of your life.